#45 Presence
...the opposite of pressure
The November Letter1 presented a spectrum, a sliding scale. A series of sliding scales, actually:
Short-term thinking on one side, long-term thinking on the other.
Fear on one side, curiosity on the other.
Pressure on one side, presence on the other.
In each scenario, the former (short-term thinking, fear and pressure) is how most people are taught to operate. The latter (long-term thinking, curiosity, and presence) is how we prefer to operate.
You’re probably somewhere in the middle. That’s okay, so am I.
The more I work on moving toward the long term, curiosity based state of presence, the better my companies perform and the more opportunities arise. The November Letter is basically a masterclass on persuasion and sales, breaking down each of the bullets above.
Here is a short excerpt that I think will be helpful
As we grow, we’re going to use Curiosity more and more to sell the Letter.
But the real success of the Letter is coming from Presence. Already, despite being less than 2 months old, the Letter has gotten the attention of some of the most experienced, savvy, and successful people on the planet.
We’ve bought stuff from them and they’ve bought stuff from us... and at no point did any selling happen.
Take Mark Tarbell, for example.
Mark has become a good friend. Before I knew who he was, another friend, Joe Polish, kept telling us that Tarbell’s was the best place to eat in town. One night, we couldn’t decide where to go for dinner and Tarbell’s popped into my mind - so that’s where we went. We met Mark and one thing stood above all else - his presence.
I’m not a foodie, so I asked him “What’s the best thing on this menu?” and he responded: “it depends”. Then, he sat down at the table and started asking questions and explaining the nuances of food and drink - he was demonstrating presence. Without saying it he was saying...
“I am not here to convince you to buy anything. I am here to be here with you and to help you in any way that I can”
His passion and knowledge did the rest.
That’s presence.
Now, every time I am in Arizona I bring droves of people with me to Tarbell’s - as many as I can. (Next time we’re in Phoenix together, you should come with us).
Why?
Because I know the experience will be a pleasant one, Mark's presence doesn’t just make Tarbell’s look good, it also makes me look smart. (Presence makes other people look smart for referring to you. Nothing appeals to people more than looking smart. Presence = Referrals).
Here’s what happened most recently:
A handful of partners, friends, and I went to Tarbell’s. Again, Mark sat down and introduced himself and was present with everyone... and then started talking about his big passion project - an exclusive wine and experience club. Key ingredients: presence, passion and knowledge. By the end of the night, every single person at the table had the same question...
“How The Hell Do I Become A Founding Member
Of This Wine Club!?”
Nothing was sold.
Everyone was rushing to buy.
Presence.
In case you’re wondering, we pulled Mark aside for a conversation and, of course, Letter subscribers will get first dibs on the wine and experience founding member spots. He assured us that it will, indeed, be appropriately pretentious.
Note: The only reason I know Mark is because we are both friends with Joe. I have never seen Joe sell anything, yet people buy tens of millions of dollars of stuff from him and are quick to refer others to do the same. That’s a byproduct of decades of presence - it compounds.
If your sales process works, keep doing it.
However, if you’re one of those people that is passionate about what you do and you’re getting stuck on the “sales” piece - forget the sale. Thinking about it is preventing you from being present. Your presence will be more powerful than any sales tactic you learn from the inter-webs.
Let your passion, knowledge and curiosity take over.
It’s your best foot, put it forward.
Nic
PS. The December Letter will put a nice little bow on the whole “how to sell stuff without selling stuff” thing. You can learn more about it here: