#19 Brain Sludge and Self Respect
The Monkey Mind Strikes Again!
"Most prefer the certainty of misery to the misery of uncertainy"
- Virgina Satir
In every program I make and before each speaking gig, I stress the importance of "open loops"1. Letting yourself be uncertain about something - just for a little bit - before trying to make sense of it. Your brain will fight like hell to close a loop because it doesn't want to sit with uncertainty. Uncertainty makes us feel less intelligent, so we fight it.
That's a problem.
Cognitively lazy people will struggle with this newsletter. Not just this one post, all of them.
One of the most dangerous combinations is cognitive laziness and outcome bias.
Outcome Bias: judging a person or decision based on the outcome instead of the logic, reasoning, and evidence.
I am wary of anyone who claims to be focused on outcomes. Counterintuitive? Maybe.
Let's play it out:
I have a friend that stayed up late last night. he was hoping to win ten million bucks playing Russian Roulette. And he did - he won.
I decided I would go to bed early so that I could wake up early and refine my writing skills.
If you believe the outcome is the best way to judge a decision, you must believe that my friend made a better decision than I did - he had a better outcome.
As anyone that plays poker knows, you can play a hand perfectly and lose to an idiot.
Why?
Because randomness will always exist.
And since randomness will always exist…
A good decision can have an unfavorable outcome and a shitty decision can have a favorable one. Judging only the outcome, a lazy brain will learn the wrong things.
For example, it might "learn" that gambling with your life is a better decision than developing skills.
...and then that same lazy brain will reposition people (including self) - mistaking luck for competence.
Smart people that make good decisions can have a bad outcome, because of randomness.
Stupid ass people that make a bad decision have a favorable outcome, because of randomness.
.. and then smart people can start to doubt themselves and other smart people and begin to trust idiots…because of randomness.
Dunning-Kruger. It' very real.
Quickly making sense of things is cognitively lazy - and robbing yourself of an opportunity to learn the right lesson.
Instead of thinking deeply about the logic, reasoning and evidence of a decision, a convenient story is created to put your brain at ease. Your expectations become a byproduct of an incomplete, fabricated experience.
This convenient story leads to mislabeling yourself and others.
...and then you start prophesizing about the future.
These prophesiers are the worst.
They are so certain of themselves at all times. They are also angry at all times because reality never unfolds as they expect.
When reality doesn't meet their expectation they become toxic and polarizing. It's easy to spot them because they sit around, mad at everyone, waiting for a single outcome or data point to validate their world view.
Don’t be this person.
Judge the logic, reason, and evidence of a decision, not the outcome.
Assign respect and authority to the quality of logic, reasoning, and evidence a person uses when making decisions - not the outcome.
Not a single, outcome, at least.
Self Respect
You will be surprised how much respect you have assigned to lucky people, mistaking their luck for skill. You will also realize how much respect you have robbed from yourself mistaking bad luck for lack of skill. Once you know where to look, you can recapture the misplaced respect and reallocate it properly.
Lack of self-respect is often just having learned the wrong lesson and misplacing yourself relative to others.
Kept this one short because I want to go home to see my dogs early tonight and did a deep dive video for The Guardian Academy a few months back. It's got pretty pictures and stuff:
More on this later.
Leave the effin' loop open.
Nic
PS. This is the power of having people in your corner to help you see what you are to close to see. I love the “free content” movement for many reasons. But “free content” is not going to help you see things fast enough to stay ahead of the game. Make friends with people that will keep your head on straight for you. Get rid of the friends that won’t.2