#17 Playing Up - Commandment 6
How To Be Smarter Than You Are
The deep dive continues. This is another section of the December 2020 direct mail Letter. Get caught up with the intro to “Playing Up” and the First Commandment:
Playing Up: Introduction and Commandment 1
Playing Up - Commandments 2 and 3
Playing up - Commandments 4 and 5
I almost didn’t post Commandment 6. But, I said I’d post them all so I’m posting it. This was an email that I copied into the Letter last minute.
Okay.
Onward.
Commandment 6: Be Intellectually Secure Enough To Be Wrong… On Purpose
“Powerful people impress and intimidate by saying less. The more you say, the more likely you are to say something foolish.”
- Robert Greene, 48 Laws of Power
Law #4 of Robert Greene’s 48 Laws of Power is: “Always say less than necessary”
Law #30 states: “Make all your accomplishments seem effortless”
On the surface these statements both sound extreme and probably counterintuitive. Especially when the prevailing belief in the business world is to be everywhere all the time, tell people how hard you work, and have the last word.
But what if I told you, there is something that you can develop that would unlock more powerful marketing, better positioning and prospects asking to pay you more?
This is a weird email for me to write because I generally don’t talk about this stuff. (See: laws of power above. I’ll expand on this shortly).
Last month I made a Facebook post saying that I was looking for one person for a “trial” - two phone calls with me over 30 days. On the post, I said it was $5k for two calls.
That was the entire post.
Here’s what happened:
I ended up taking four people because they’re amazing humans doing interesting things.
One is a “guru of guru” types, one of the most well known, most effective coaches on the planet. After the first call he said:
“Dude. One call has paid for itself many many times over. Is there any chance you have the bandwidth for me to send you some of my friends?”
Two of them were waiting for an upsell, when it didn’t come they asked me if they could pay more. One offered $20,000 to make sure he had my attention.
Like I said, this is a weird email for me to write. I don’t typically share testimonials and stuff like this.
But I started thinking about this Monday night…
All three of these people are way smarter than I am. “Smart” can mean many different things, but they all have more book smarts, street smarts and experience than I do.
So I was thinking...
"Why do they think I'm so smart?"
I had never told either of them anything that they did not already know. In fact, after hearing their backgrounds, I told them I wasn’t going to tell them anything they don’t already know.
...and somehow I come away looking smarter than I am?
And then it hit me. It has nothing to do with what I am doing and everything to do with what I am not doing - but most others are.
I'm not a genius. We can all agree on that. I have exactly zero degrees - I made it half way through my freshman year in college. And I’m not an expert in anything - except keeping smart friends around so that I don’t have to be.
But I’ve spent a lot of time studying successful people. When I say successful, I mean they have the ability to get what they want in life. And there is one trait they all have in spades that I am always working on developing:
Intellectual security.
No desire to have the last word.
No desire to be right or to convince anyone else what is right.
Willing (eager, even) to be “wrong” and let others “win” if it means moving forward in a favorable way. It’s a version of function over form, really.
And, in the context of my business model, I don’t care if I get credit for anything that I do. I don’t have to convince anyone that my ideas are valuable, or that their own ideas were mine.
So back to the question… why do some really intelligent people think I’m smarter than I am?
Because they are smarter than I am.
They have a ton of cognitive horsepower - which gets them pretty far . But they are also human. They come hardwired with the same biases and cognitive distortions as the rest of us. At a certain level they begin to use that cognitive horsepower to strengthen their beliefs, even - sometimes especially - the unproductive ones.
It’s a bit of a paradox.
Smart people get far in life on their own because they are smart.
They also get in their own way because they’re smart.
Here’s the secret: it’s easy to get them out of their own way by holding up a mirror and providing a rear view and side mirrors. Show them their own brilliance and their blindspots.
When you point something out that they’ve never seen before - or more likely, something they’ve forgotten - you get credit for it.
…Even if it’s been there the entire time.
Everyone else is so busy trying to market and sell to them by teaching them something new or convincing them something is missing, they miss the lowest hanging fruit:
Just remind them who they are and what they have forgotten; show them what is already there that - for whatever reason - they cannot currently see.
It’s so absurdly simple. But few do it. Their lack of intellectual security drives them to prove they belong or demonstrate their intelligence instead of proving they can be helpful.
Want to make a quantum leap forward?
Help intelligent people see or remember what they already know.
The more you worry about getting credit or recognized as being “right” - the more the whole process is diluted.
Sometimes, I will choose to be wrong to help the person across from me realize what they need to realize. The realization is important, not being right. (This is a Socrates special). I rather them make a leap forward as a result of our interaction than be right. “I talked to brand and made a leap forward” is better for a brand than “I talked to brand and they said a bunch of correct things”.
Intellectual security.
Know what you know and be secure in it because you’re always stress testing your assumptions.
Know what you don’t know and be secure with it because you always have more to learn.
Focus on creating the most favorable outcome, instead of getting credit and be secure in it.
How much you talk about yourself being valuable is inversely related to how much other people talk about you being valuable.
Which do you think opens more doors?
Develop intellectual security and you won’t need to worry much about positioning yourself.
Everyone else will handle that for you.
Nic
Ps. I posted last night that I have 1-2 trial spots open. And I’m telling you this AFTER telling you I’m not even that smart.
If you’re interested let me know. Happy to chat.
I left the PS in there because it was in the original and I think I’m funnier than I actually am.
That wraps up the 6 Commandments of Playing Up. Take what is useful, discard what is not. If you do adopt any of these commandments, reinvent them. Make them better. The benefit of people sharing stuff is not to copy it and apply it, it’s that you can use that stuff as a base to build something better from.
Here are the 6 Commandments for Playing Up.
Playing Up: Introduction and Commandment 1
Playing Up - Commandments 2 and 3
Playing up - Commandments 4 and 5
Onward
Nic